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Allow Students to Negotiate for What They Think is Important

Tags

^21st Century Skills Social-Emotional Learning All Ages Strategy

Skills

Flexible Thinking Self-regulation

Allow Students to Negotiate for What They Think is Important

If your student is passionate or very thoughtful and you can be flexible in the situation

How To Apply It!

  1. Teaching students how and when to negotiate for something they want is an important life skill that can be practiced and strengthened through adult interaction.
  2. Only consider a request when it is made with the proper tone and manner. Give specific feedback so students know why you are or are not considering the request. No whining and respectful language (please, thank you's) are essential. Children will learn that requests are only considered when they ask properly.
  3. Require a rationale and specific examples. Sometimes the reason will be because they want something extra or special, and other times it will be a legitimate need. By justifying their requests, they learn reasoning and communication skills. The adult better understands the situation to carefully consider the proposal.
  4. Encourage children to try the request again in the proper way. Provide examples of specific words they could choose or examples they could give to make their argument more persuasive.
  5. Whether or not you honor the request, speak your reasoning aloud so the child understands that your decision is not arbitrary and you were listening carefully. "I understand why you would like me to move the test back a day, but I can't because..."

Why It Works (the Science Of Learning)!

Teaching children how to negotiate for wants using logical and well thought out arguments is an important life skill. Developing negotiation builds on important reasoning, communication and organization skills and can improve self-esteem and self-confidence. It also can strengthen the adult-child relationship since the child will appreciate your considering their point of view. Of course, allowing a child to negotiate has to be balanced with the need for respectful manners, knowing when it is appropriate, and having the self-control to appropriately handle disappointment.