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Self-Empathy

For: Parents

Tags

Social-Emotional Learning/Growth Mindset All Ages Strategy

Skills

Anxiety

Self-Empathy

Life is not easy for any of us, but we must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.
— Marie Curie

Students can be tough on themselves, and helping them learn to forgive themselves for mistakes and accept their imperfections is a critical step toward maturity.

How To Apply It!

  1. Live in the present. Remind students that they cannot change the past but they can change what they do going forward. If they are displeased with their past performance, help them come up with specific ways they can change or new strategies to use so they do not repeat mistakes.
  2. Face fears. First help students accept that it is okay to have fears. Then help them take incremental steps to overcome them. If a student is afraid of heights, you don't drop them at the top of the mountain and let them figure a way down. Rather, show them how to take incremental steps and celebrate small improvements. Setting specific goals with a time period can be very effective.
  3. Self-compassion. Let them feel sorry for themselves or self-indulge sometimes. Some students never let go of their mistakes and you might need to help them forgive themselves. Alternatively, some students might be too self-indulgent, in which case you might need to teach them to set higher expectations. Parental judgment depending on the child's personality and situation is key to finding the right balance.
  4. Practice forgiveness. When your child makes mistakes show forgiveness so that he learns to forgive himself for his mistakes. Try to avoid re-visiting past mistakes unless they are relevant for understanding the current situation. Or if your child continues to make the same mistakes, without improving, it might be necessary as a gentle reminder about how to move forward and grow.

Why It Works (the Science Of Learning)!

If we are too sad or anxious it can interfere with learning and self-improvement. Helping students understand and modulate their emotions, including not feeling overly burdened by mistakes, will enable them to be happier, move past mistakes, take risks, and learn more.