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Develop Self-Empathy


Social-Emotional Learning All Ages Strategy



Develop Self-Empathy

If your student is excessively hard on himself

Teach It!

  1. Objective: Students will learn to forgive themselves for mistakes and accept their imperfections, which is a critical step toward maturity.
  2. Instruction and Practice: a) Live in the present. Remind students that they cannot change the past but can change what they do going forward. If they are displeased with past performance, help them come up with specific ways they can change or new strategies so they do not repeat mistakes. b) Face fears. Help students accept that it is okay to have fears and then help them take incremental steps to overcome them. Celebrate small improvements along the way. Setting specific goals with a time period can be very effective. c) Self-compassion. Let them feel sorry for themselves or self-indulge sometimes. Some students never let go of their mistakes and you might need to help them forgive themselves. Alternatively, some students might be too self-indulgent, in which case you might need to teach them to set higher expectations. Parental judgment depending on the child's personality and situation is key to finding the right balance. d) Model forgiveness. When your child makes mistakes show forgiveness so that he learns to forgive himself for his mistakes. Try to avoid re-visiting past mistakes unless they are relevant for understanding the current situation. Or if your child continues to make the same mistakes, without improving, it might be necessary as a gentle reminder about how to move forward and grow.

Why It Works (the Science Of Learning)!

If we are too sad or anxious it can interfere with learning and self-improvement. Helping students understand and modulate their emotions, including not feeling overly burdened by mistakes, will enable them to be happier, move past mistakes, take risks, and learn more.